Roman Pilaf

July 9, 2018




Oven at 350 degrees

rice pilaf slowly bubbling

I'm back in Germany 

in the large decaying kitchen

Luba cutting,mixing 

slow dance of repetitive motion

void of feeling 

just the need to feed and nurture

a group of convoluted characters


I'm the child with the golden locks

nestled between the hot oven

and a string of decayed rooms

hoping but afraid that Roman 

will appear 

slightly drunk

charming yet vindictive


Lanky and chiseled

matinee idol hitting bottom

guaranteed adulation

from a shrink wrap audience

daddie daddie

who knew

his affections buried deep inside

afraid to venture center stage


slave to dark impulses

of step fathers

crawling against his skin

forcing him

to bend and crawl

feel the sting of worn leather

forcing him to let go and pee

invitation to deeper pain

holding it in 

letting go with a stutter


rosemary and onions

diced and cooked in butter

two cups of rinsed jasmine rice

dripping waiting 

slivers of carrots and raisins


ghost of roman mingling with the aromas

seductive as always

hunched and patient

as I fold the ingredients together

and place it into the oven


i have always been the mistress

to his dreams

the unwilling partner

to calm the stutter

and understand





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